Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
