I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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