guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
