Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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