you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
