Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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