That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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