Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
