I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This is my gift to your gina
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
