Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
