What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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