she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
