People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
