All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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