I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You made out with two different species that night
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
