he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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