I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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