i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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