A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
In America we eat man semen.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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