I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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