so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
