Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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