I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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