mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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