Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Holy sore nipples Batman
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
