If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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