But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
