He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just high enough for therapy.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
