Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize