butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
