I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
