So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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