so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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