he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
