sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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