Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
