Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
