Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
