Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
