I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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