thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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