So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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