So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
