He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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