He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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