he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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