I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
