she looked like the before picture.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
