So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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