8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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