Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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